My 21st birthday was the other day and all I did was cry. The thought of living another year scares me.
I’m just tired of the hurt.

Do you ever just wonder what everyones life would be like if you weren’t around.

Would you be missed? Will people remember you? Would anyone care?

I want to test my theory most days. I think that if I were to disappear people wouldn’t notice and once they did it wouldn’t be a huge loss to them. I’m just so confused as to why I’m not enough for anyone, no one. No one goes out of their way to make me feel like I am loved, yet I am always there for everyone else. I will always go out of my way to help those that I love. 

I’m just so over these feelings. 

Have you ever ..

…just sat there and wondered, what is life?

I do.

Every single waking moment of my life consists of wondering what the meaning of life is. It really eats me up on the inside that I haven’t found who or what I am about. But that’s what these years are about right? Then why does everyone around me seem like they already know what they want. Its like they have their whole life figured out already, and the know exactly who they are. Why haven’t I? Am I that different or does everyone feel this way at some point..

Have you ever laid in your bed, and felt complete nothing? Because I seem to feel that all the time. I don’t even feel a pulse, hear or feel my heart beating, or acknowledge my surroundings. Its like my senses are just shut off. I happen to feel like this most days, and I can’t shake the feeling. Its such an uneasy feeling and its starting to really cloud my brain..

I’ve been in that dark place before, please don’t let this be happening again.